I tried really hard

I just can't put together a decent sentence tonight. This is disappointing, I had some pretty important stuff to devote way too many words to.

For instance, I think I'm the only person in the world that noticed Phil LaMarr is an extra in Spiderman 2. I'm sure you caught all the other cameos, including the loser Raimi brother begging for any bit part Sam would give him. Bet you missed Phil though.

This is probably only portentious to me, but if the least funny actor on a perenially underachieving sketch comedy show can sink low enough to walkon as an extra, then the economy is much worse off than I'd ever imagined. The producers of Samurai Jack and Futurama must pay their voice talent in play money. Look for Phil on disaster-bound mass transit, slack-jawed directly to the right of Spiderman as the web-slinger stops the elevated train from de-elevating.

I think I caused a tumult in the theatre, cackling as Tobey McGuire fought to save thousands upon thousands of people from doom. In my defense, I would have laughed without seeing Phil LaMarr, as Tobey's trying really hard to stop this train face looks just like a wishbone passing sideways through the lower colon face. Some acting coach should tell him that general exertion is a different face than a painful bowel movement.

If they were the same, weightlifting in all its forms would be a much more satisfying spectator sport.

I also thought I caught a Stan Lee cameo. An old guy with biggish hair and horn-rimmed glasses pulls someone out of the way of a hunk of falling building. I also thought I saw him at my cousin's wedding in Stockton, California, so take both sitings with a grain of salt.

Here's a heads-up. If you the only thing you like more than funk and fetishism is the crooning of Elton John, then you should buy or download the Scissor Sisters. This apparently belongs to a sub-genre of music called perv pop, and I like it. It's what Sir Elton and Prince might come up with if they were locked in a room together with a gimp--only gayer.

I wanted to discuss all those things at length, I just couldn’t make anything come out funny. I’m as disappointed as you are.